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Monday, April 25, 2005
Sa Iyong Pinag-aalayan Ko Ng Tula
Walang saysay ang aking pagtutula.
Ilang obra na ang natapos
hindi pa rin maipararating
sa iyong kamalayan
ang nais ipahiwatig
nitong abang manunulat.
Hindi ba mapagtatanto
ang pagpupuyat sa paghahagilap
ng mga metapora't tugmang
akmang makapagbibigkas
ng damdaming umuugat sa kaibuturan?
Hindi ba naisasalamin
ang dugo at pawis na katumbas
ng bawat katagang nailuluwal?
Sadya nga bang kulang ang wika?
Pakiwari ko'y
lubusan mang maisasalin
sa mga salita ang pagniningas
ng aking damdamin
gawain ay mistulang hungkag
dahil sa tuwina'y iba
(at sadyang taliwas sa inaasahan ko)
ang nababasa mo
kahit pangalan mo pa ang nasa titulo.
14.abril.2005
Weaved at 5:01:00 pm by onylu
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Tuesday, April 12, 2005
|
Describe yourself using one band and song titles from that band |
|
Created by naw5689 and taken 24791 times on bzoink! |
| Choose a band/artist and answer only in song TITLES by that band: |
Sting / The Police |
| Are you male or female: |
Roxanne |
| Describe yourself: |
De Do Do Do, De Da Da Da |
| How do some people feel about you: |
Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic |
| How do you feel about yourself: |
So Lonely |
| Describe your ex girlfriend/boyfriend: |
King of Pain |
| Describe your current girlfriend/boyfriend: |
Ghost Story |
| Describe where you want to be: |
Fields of Gold |
| Describe what you want to be: |
I'm So Happy I Can't Stop Crying |
| Describe how you live: |
Spirits In The Material World |
| Describe how you love: |
Mad About You |
| Share a few words of wisdom |
If You Love Somebody Set Them Free |
|
Create a Survey | Search Surveys | Go to bzoink! |
at di pa ako nakontento sa isa, humirit pa ako uli...
|
| Choose a band/artist and answer only in song TITLES by that band: |
The Beatles |
| Are you male or female: |
Woman |
| Describe yourself: |
Here There And Everywhere |
| How do some people feel about you: |
Here Comes The Sun |
| How do you feel about yourself: |
You Got To Hide Your Love Away |
| Describe your ex girlfriend/boyfriend: |
Fool On The Hill |
| Describe your current girlfriend/boyfriend: |
Imagine |
| Describe where you want to be: |
Strawberry Fields Forever |
| Describe what you want to be: |
Something |
| Describe how you live: |
I'll Follow The Sun |
| Describe how you love: |
All My Loving |
| Share a few words of wisdom |
All You Need Is Love |
|
Create a Survey | Search Surveys | Go to bzoink! |
Weaved at 4:03:21 pm by onylu
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Thursday, April 07, 2005
The First Pinoypoets Chapbook
design by Xam, Pol, Ergoe & Kai and illustration by Jojo
Weaved at 1:30:16 pm by onylu
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Tuesday, March 29, 2005
Last night, I listened to Worldwide, which I consider the next best EBTG album after their Amplified Heart. I've regretted time and again the fact that it took me so long to switch to collecting audio CDs from casette tapes. Last night was not an exception. At the time when CDs have just started occupying music stores, I wasn't thinking long-term. All I cared then was that I can buy 3 to 4 casette tapes at the cost of only one CD and since I appreciate a wide range of music, buying casette tapes was definitely more appealing and practical. But now, I don't get to hear my tapes anymore. For some, I've bought the CD already. Most have gone rotten. Some of them are still okay, I guess, but in any case, I don't have a casette player anymore. And so we go back to last night, when I soooo wanted to listen to Amplified Heart but I couldn't because I only have its tape. I've been looking for the CD for a long time now. Come to think of it, I have put off buying the last two EBTG albums because I want to get hold of this album, the one I consider their very best, first, besides the fact that they have gone exploring the beats of club music with their recent releases (something I still have trouble associating them with). So anyway, I made an inventory of the EBTG albums I've collected over the years and the following is a summary:
************************
Old Friends
(from Worldwide)
Not for the first time I look back on all those years. Not for the last time names will ring in my ears. When there was just a gang of us, storming the town by train and bus. A moment of thought this heart sends to old friends.
Not for the first time I look back on my first love. Unable to speak or think or move, hand in glove. But what of it now and where is (s)he, (s)he who once meant so much to me? Because we are not, I can't pretend, now old friends.
I was told love should hold old friends. I was told love should hold old friends. But when you leave you will close the door behind you -- don't we always? -- and time won't make amends to old friends.
Standing here with my arm around you, life's moved on, and all its borderlines are being redrawn. The winter has come, the roads are white. Everyone's home late tonight. May we stay or will it depend, as old friends? In the end, still old friends?
Troubled Mind
(from Amplified Heart)
Don't say one thing one day, then something else the next day. I'm trying to keep up with you -- it's hard enough when you speak clearly, but when you're confused, it's like a goods train running through these rooms. And I'm reading more into your words than you have put into them, and that's my problem, but you tied these knots, now you undo them. You undo them. Oh and think before you speak, my darling. Cause with your troubled mind, you're like a goods train running through my life. We all walk through this world alone, we keep ourselves untouched, unknown. You look up to the sky above you, read this ther -- I love you. Oh it's written there, you know I love you, love you, love you, love you. But with your troubled mind, you're like a goods train running through my life. And when you're down, you bring me down too, and babe that's something I would not do. I know it's hard, yeah I know it's hard, and babe that's something I don't disregard. But with your troubled mind, you're like a goods train running through my life.
Cross My Heart
(from Baby, The Stars Shine Bright)
Now and then
Do you wash your hands of me again?
Wish me anywhere but home
Drunk and on the end of your phone
From time to time
Do you guess what's really on my mind?
Guess that "How you keeping now?"
Means "Where are you sleeping now"?
But of course it's not polite
To ask you where you spent last night
And if I did you might reply
That I have no right
And anyway I'm fine
Glad that you're no longer mine
If I should tell a lie
I'll cross my heart and hope to die
You'd be appalled
If you knew what I was doing
When you called
Yes, I can see I'm blundering
Always end up wondering
Will it ever be alright
To ask you where you spent last night
And can it be polite
The way we never write
Of course I don't have the time
And anyway I'm fine
If I should tell a lie
I'll cross my heart and hope to die
I hope we never die.
Weaved at 12:37:21 pm by onylu
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Thursday, March 17, 2005
Before The Inevitable Hungover
I hold in my hands
words where you've spilled
yourself for me
to see,
terms of endearment
that took me years
to utter,
the language of love
your tongue taught me
to speak.
Drinking my nth
bottle of San Miguel,
I realize
you taught me
a lot of firsts.
Beer, you said,
is an acquired taste.
Before you know it,
you'll forget
how the malt
even assaulted you
in the beginning.
Still scared shitless
of my lonely tomorrows,
I light your letters
on fire,
watch the flames
eat away
the plains of paper
holding testimony
to our yesterdays
and swear
I shall forget you.
03.March.2005
Weaved at 10:23:38 am by onylu
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Thursday, March 10, 2005
Three of my favorite Beatles songs. I don't really know what mood I was in last night but these were the songs I kept on replay while I was working. Surprisingly, "Blackbird" was not one of them considering it was a Wednesday night.
********************
You've Got To Hide Your Love Away
Here I stand head in hand, turn my face to the wall
If she's gone I can't go on feelin' two-foot small
Everywhere people stare each and every day
I can see them laugh at me and I hear them say
Hey you've got to hide your love away
Hey you've got to hide your love away
How could I even try I can never win
Hearing them, seeing them, in the state I'm in
How could she say to me love will find a way
Gather round all you clowns, let me hear you say
Hey you've got to hide your love away
Hey you've got to hide your love away
********************
Here Comes The Sun
Here comes the sun
Here comes the sun and I say
It's all right
Little darling, it's been a long cold lonely winter
Little darling, it feels like years since it's been here
Here comes the sun
Here comes the sun and I say
It's all right
Little darling, the smiles returning to the faces
Little darling, it seems like years since it's been here
Here comes the sun
Here comes the sun and I say
It's all right
Sun, sun, sun, here it comes
Sun, sun, sun, here it comes
Sun, sun, sun, here it comes
Sun, sun, sun, here it comes
Sun, sun, sun, here it comes
Little darling, I feel that ice is slowly melting
Little darling, it seems like years since it's been clear
Here comes the sun
Here comes the sun and I say
It's all right
Here comes the sun
Here comes the sun and I say
It's all right
It's all right
********************
All You Need Is Love
Love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love.
There's nothing you can do that can't be done.
Nothing you can sing that can't be sung.
Nothing you can say but you can learn how to play the game.
It's easy.
There's nothing you can make that can't be made.
No one you can save that can't be saved.
Nothing you can do but you can learn how to be in time.
It's easy.
All you need is love, all you need is love,
All you need is love, love, love is all you need.
Love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love.
All you need is love, all you need is love,
All you need is love, love, love is all you need.
There's nothing you can know that isn't known.
Nothing you can see that isn't shown.
Nowhere you can be that isn't where you're meant to be.
It's easy.
All you need is love, all you need is love,
All you need is love, love, love is all you need.
All you need is love (all together now)
All you need is love (everybody)
All you need is love, love, love is all you need.
Weaved at 1:21:08 pm by onylu
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Wednesday, March 02, 2005
Two-Month Highlights (Snippets from my so-called life)
On the first day I came back to work this year, I opened my yahoo email and got the 70's Bistro sked for January. I was shocked to find that Noel C wasn't the one scheduled every Wednesday. The first two were scheduled for Paolo S while the next two were Pido's. A few friends I've forwarded the sked to emailed back and apparently reacted the same way I did. Couldn't sit still, I had to text Noel himself and asked him if he was going out of town/country for a while hence his a single gig at Bistro that month and on a Thursday, too! He replied, "m going to brazil but i won't be playing there anymore on wednesdays. i've transferred my weds to conspiracy..." Noel wasn't leaving yet until the next week so I dragged my Pinoypoets friends Kath, Marc, Jojo and Emong to Conspiracy that Wednesday. We had a blast (of course!) but I couldn't help but miss the friendly waiters of Bistro (Dale, Ninio, Adam, etc.) who always took such care of me and my friends whenever we're there.
****************
I've stopped playing badminton by the second half of last year. My badminton group, bad_adiks, has stopped playing together even earlier than that. Apparently, too many things happened to our personal lives and our careers that it was getting more and more difficult to bring us all together. Because of this, I started taking tennis lessons towards the end of last year just to have some sports action.
But I'm playing badminton again! Thanks to Mildred and Sol, I've picked up my racket and made use of it again. Matagal-tagal na ring di nakakapalo ang raketa ko.
****************
On our Pinoypoets GA last January 21st, we had Gelo Suarez as our guest poet. At the age of 19, he has had a book of poems (The Nymph of MTV) published and has yet to graduate in college. Huwaw! As I've never seen any picture of him before the GA, I had expected a gawky but mature-looking type of guy. But no! He is cute and looks so young! I mean, he IS so young! Double huwaw! To see someone who has accomplished a lot at such a young age is so inspiring... and frustrating at the same time! Makes you reflect on what you've done with your own life.... [pasok John Mayer's Why Georgia?...]
****************
I committed another one of my many bloopers. From my YM conversation with Vic, I thought we had agreed to go to Conspiracy the Tuesday night of that week. And so I told Jonar I would be going to the Writers' Night also. I even agreed to bring him (since their printer went kaput) the printouts of his works that he would be reading on stage. Thus, that Tuesday night, as I was leaving the apartment to meet Vic, I called him to verify if he was at Conspiracy already. And lo, was I shocked to learn he was at 70's Bistro! Nyay! I had to call some people because I didn't know Jonar's number. I thought he might be able to have someone else print his poems for him. But I was too late since he and his friends were already on their way to Conspiracy. I had no choice then but to drop by Conspiracy first to give Jonar his printouts before I proceeded to 70's where Mishka Adams was scheduled to perform that night.
It was my first time to see Mishka Adams sing. I was at Bistro with Vic and Anna. We were later joined by Anna's not-yet-boyfriend-then and whose name I forget now. It was my first Bistro gimik for the year and it was not on a Wednesday and it was not Noel! Hahaha! Nakipagchikahan pa ako with Dale regarding the recent changes. Though it's not only Noel's gigs that I go see in Bistro, it can't be denied that my attendance in Bistro will definitely be minimized.
Mishka performed with Blue Echoes (with the very talented bassist Louie Talan! oh my!), the same
group whom she recorded most of her songs with in her album. I loved her voice! But we couldn't get over Mishka's very, very striking resemblance to our friend Ake. They were like peas in a pod! One of these days, I'm going to post both of their pictures here.
****************
As payment to the Tuesday fiasco, Vic, Anna and I were back at Bistro again upon my request. This time, to see Noel. Dale had told me during the Mishka gig that Noel will have a full band with him this time. So I kinda prepared myself to not hear the songs he usually performs. At the same time, I was also excited since there are songs that are much better heard from a full band (like Kenny Loggins' Conviction of the Heart and his own songs Usok and Kayod Kabayo, Kayod Barya).
If I'm not mistaken, most of the members of his band were the ones who performed with him during his concert at Teatro Aguinaldo late last year. It's an interesting mix, really, since they come from different musical backgrounds. The youngest in the group is on keyboards, 20-year-old Niko, while their lead guitarist is much, much older than Noel. Their bassist Simon is not as good-looking as the beloved Louie T but is as cool, though. Their drummer (I forget his name) actually plays for rock bands while the percussionist (I also forget his name!) plays for Pinikpikan.
****************
A few blog entries back, I answered this 20 Questions quiz. One question was if I had a crush and what his name was. At that time, I didn't know his name. Now, I learned not only his name but also the fact that he's married and is to leave the country in a few weeks! Arrrggggh! I should have known! The guys I get interested in are always taken. Pakshet.
****************
Watched the January gig of Parokya ni Edgar at Bistro with Mykah, Anna, her I-still-forget-the-name boyfriend, Adrian, Reyna and their officemate. Didn't enjoy as much as I had expected. The last time I watched Parokya at Bistro was with Bong, Jomes, Tatit and Angie. We were at the back but I remember we had so much fun. This time, we sat by the tables at the side near the stage. Maybe it was the wrong area to choose. I got to see the rest of the audience. Most of them belong to the college crowd or the I-still-ask-money-from-my-parents-for-my-gimiks group. Geez. I felt so old then.
****************
Jimmy was here in the Philippines the first two weeks of February. Fortunately, we got to see one Noel gig before Jimmy went back to Japan. (The first Wednesday Jimmy was here was the day Noel came back from Brazil.) Jimmy got this very high-tech digital Canon camera (8 megapixel ba naman!). So while Noel performed at Conspiracy, Jimmy took a whole lot of shots! A few of the pics can be seen at his website at http://www.photos.ph/jcarlos/050209_noel_c. Noel even asked for a burned CD of the shots. Of course, Jimmy made me a copy, too. I had to beg for it and use a lot of my charm, though. Hahaha.
****************
When the USTET results were scheduled to come out, I asked Jomar to look for my youngest sister's name. Fine Arts - Interior Design was her first choice and Advertising, second. Was I so glad to know that she passed! I called all my close friends who have seen my sister to share the good news. By September this year, my two sisters and I will be sharing an apartment. It will just be KC and me for most of the first semester since Lynn will be staying at Tandang Sora for her boards review. Naku. I'll be going home early by then. Impromptu gimiks will be at an all-time low. Lesser and lesser Bistro and Conspiracy gimiks. Modeling na ito. Patay.
****************
A few days before Valentine's Day, Lucy, a college friend, asked me if I still have a copy of the payong poem and if I could email it to her. Not sure what she meant, I had to ask her if it was the one I made almost ten years ago, the one I wrote in one of our organization's logbooks. Indeed, it was. I was flattered because she still remembers it after all these years. To know that something you wrote touched another person and stayed with him/her is a very nice feeling to have. Thus, I emailed her 'Paghihiwalay', one of my most personal poems, and posted it also on the PP yahoogroups a few days later, on Valentine's Day at that!
****************
The Saturday before VDay, Pinoypoets had the first Poetry Reading at Juliano's, Meralco Ave. The GA, with Love and Erotica as the theme, was a blast! We had Sir Sid Gomez Hildawa as our guest. Earlier that evening, he told me he was to leave around 9 that night. But he stayed until late! He even read one of his poems for us. Every one of us read that night, even those who did not think they would read! Hehe. I read Ediboy's Awit Kay Ana and in one of the intermissions, I played the guitar while Van sang 'Suntok sa Buwan' (well, backup lang ako hahaha!). Jamming galore pa sina Rolly, Jojo, Dave (on guitars) and Kramer (who brought bongos). By midnight, we moved to Mucho's and continued our 'inuman session' there. Emong, Kath, Edz and I exchanged a lot of jokes so much my cheeks ached. I was actually sick that day (reporting only half day at work) but the PP celebration was worth the worsening of my colds.
****************
On Valentine's Day, I forwarded a friend's quote to some of my special friends. It goes: "it is innate in man to love. in loving, even scarred people can be beautiful again, broken people can be whole once more." From those who replied, I especially liked the one from Dodo. He texted back, "sinong scarred?!?! sinong broken?!?! basta i am beautiful, no matter what they say, valentine's can't bring me down! punyeta ang v-day. maasim di ba." I laughed so hard I looked so silly since I was actually alone when I read the message. Haay. Sobrang miss na kita, Do! I hope to see you soon! Now, if only Ken would set another lunch or dinner out with the block.
****************
Spent the whole Saturday of Feb 19 with friends from Pinoypoets. We met at Jollibee Philcoa then proceeded to Wildlife Park. We couldn't find a place to discuss the poems for our first chapbook there so we decided to have lunch at Ihawone Philcoa before moving on to the UP Admin building where we finally started the discussion. We later transferred to Likha-Diwa at Krus na Ligas when the Admin guard shooed us away. After the looong meeting, we went to the UP Fair and stayed until 1am. I got to hear most of my recent favorite OPM songs! There, as we sat on the grass, (and sometimes we laid, actually), we did a rengga and came up with this very nice Tagalog piece:
UP Rengga Fair
Pinilas na kita sa pahina
ng aking buhay
Ngunit hindi ko maitapon
ang papel, 'di ko mabura
ang mga kataga.
Naisatitik doon ang mga nakatagong
damdaming labi ng ating huwad
na kahapon, ang mga saya at luha
mga pasakit at tuwa
Tila isang tulang walang huling linya
pero meron,
meron,
meron...
(italics mine)
****************
Last Feb 24, Tatit (who just flew in from Davao that day), Tetet, Franz and I went to see Noel (with his full band again) at 70's Bistro. It was sort of a reunion for us since it has been a long time since the four of us were together at Bistro. For a spell, it has been either Tatit and me; or Tetet and me; or Tetet, Franz and me. Hmm... Nahahalata kung sino ang malikot ang mga paa hehe. We were joined by Genevieve, Lawrence, AC and Angeli. Gen was a bit awed because she saw that Noel knows the four of us personally. He knows AC and Angeli also. That's why during the night, Noel often dropped by our table and talked to us.
Oh, I gave Noel the CD Jimmy burned for him. His copy of the photos Jimmy took in his Conspiracy gig.
The only fly in the ointment that night was when I saw S. Part of my excitement that night was knowing I would see him again. Pero pakshet. May baon siyang dala! Na naman?!!! Kainis. Who am I kidding? Imposible na ngang single yun. Someone that interesting is bound to be taken. Arrrggggh! I should have known yet again! In fairness, di hamak mas maganda ako sa dala niya. As in ang layo talaga! Makes me wonder at his taste. But it didn't really change the way I felt. Pakshet pa rin.
****************
CDs I've Recently Acquired (except for Mishka, all are gifts)
-- Kitchie Nadal
-- Brain Salad
-- Mishka Adams' God Bless The Child
-- Session Road's Suntok Sa Buwan
Books I'm in the middle of reading
-- Neil Gaiman's American Gods
-- Gemino Abad's Getting Real
Books I've read that I'm reading again
-- Jostein Gaarder's Sophie's World
-- Rainer Maria Rilke's Letters To A Young Poet
Books borrowed from me that I'm trying to find
-- Dan Brown's Da Vinci Code
-- Terry Goodkind's Stone of Tears
-- Terry Goodkind's Temple of the Winds
-- Terry Goodkind's Pillars of Creation
-- Paolo Coelho's Valkyries
Movies I watched for the first time
-- White Chicks
-- The Aviator
-- Ray
Movies I watched again just because I love it
-- Love Actually
-- Sense and Sensibility
-- Before Sunrise
-- Before Sunset
-- The Incredibles
LSS Songs
-- 6 Cycle Mind's Biglaan
-- Sugarfree's Telepono
-- Bridge's Kahit Na
-- Session Road's Suntok Sa Buwan
-- Mojofly's Minamalas
Weaved at 10:21:01 am by onylu
Thursday, January 06, 2005
In this fissure, You await
to reclaim me --
Your faithful gone astray.
I plunge into
water as deathly cold as
Your cavern walls yet
the warmest of all embraces,
lovingly familiar as a mother's womb;
and as my heart throbs with the pulse of the earth,
I remember how fetuses are nourished
while immersed in their birthwaters.
I have
come with the fervent prayer
of a parched man
seeking Your assuaging forgiveness
in this sacred space
where I now emerge,
cleansed from my sins,
and find myself born again.
jacob's well.1995 - cdoc.2004
Weaved at 1:31:15 pm by onylu
Wednesday, December 08, 2004
My mom was here in Manila twice last month (Nov 9-12 and Nov 28-Dec1) for two different doctors' conferences. Both times, she stayed at Traders Hotel ShangriLa. My sister and I very much welcomed the chance to "go home" to a grand hotel. For a few days, I had the chance to forget my boring, small apartment and got to:
- sleep in a fancy hotel
- sleep in a bed wider than both of my arms spread out
- sleep in an air-conditioned room
- watch cable TV (yes!)
- face wide mirrors while brushing my teeth
- take a hot shower
- watch a nice view from a balcony
- eat a hearty breakfast
But you know what they say. All good things come to an end. Mama is now back home in Cagayan de Oro and I'm back in Boni, at the boring and small apartment I share with a college friend and her brother. Where I sleep on the bottom bunk of a double-deck. Where air conditioning is provided by the current weather. Where I am limited to watch shows from Studio 23 and some from the other local channels. Where the first pour of water is always the coldest when bathing. Where the view is the empty lot and a section of the long stretch of San Francisco Street. Where breakfast is skipped to have more time for sleep before waking up on a normal working day.
Oh, well...
Weaved at 5:22:58 pm by onylu
Tuesday, November 09, 2004
very, very early this morning, i received a text message from mark cabrera, proud husband of one of my CE blockmates ---
Join me, Aileen & kuya Bryce in welcoming Ethan Zaki A. Cabrera to our world via Medical City, Ortigas this Nov. 8, 2004 at 7:42 pm. :)
what a refreshing way to greet the day! and to which i replied
survivor na survivor a! :) congratulations on another baby boy! Godbless. :)
watch out, ai! we are sure to grill you about this boy's name. hehe.
******************
incidentally, last sunday was my nephew gabriel's christening. lunch celebration was held at cabalen megamall. as it turned out, there was another baby celebrating her christening. her name: JASMINE TRIA
******************
speaking of ethan, the ultimate survivor in africa, aldhel, carol and i got to see him that saturday he went to ateneo to hold a soccer clinic for young players. we came from playing tennis at u.p. and we just dropped by because carol's brother wanted to buy an ateneo shirt (bought a jacket instead) on our way to a lunchout with the CE block at the old spaghetti house just in front of the school. (plausible, huh?) we weren't really there because of his good looks, interesting hair, great smile, terrific body and charming, good-boy personality! no way, jose! *crossing fingers*
Weaved at 5:45:23 pm by onylu
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