Tuesday, November 09, 2004
very, very early this morning, i received a text message from mark cabrera, proud husband of one of my CE blockmates ---
Join me, Aileen & kuya Bryce in welcoming Ethan Zaki A. Cabrera to our world via Medical City, Ortigas this Nov. 8, 2004 at 7:42 pm. :)
what a refreshing way to greet the day! and to which i replied
survivor na survivor a! :) congratulations on another baby boy! Godbless. :)
watch out, ai! we are sure to grill you about this boy's name. hehe.
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incidentally, last sunday was my nephew gabriel's christening. lunch celebration was held at cabalen megamall. as it turned out, there was another baby celebrating her christening. her name: JASMINE TRIA
******************
speaking of ethan, the ultimate survivor in africa, aldhel, carol and i got to see him that saturday he went to ateneo to hold a soccer clinic for young players. we came from playing tennis at u.p. and we just dropped by because carol's brother wanted to buy an ateneo shirt (bought a jacket instead) on our way to a lunchout with the CE block at the old spaghetti house just in front of the school. (plausible, huh?) we weren't really there because of his good looks, interesting hair, great smile, terrific body and charming, good-boy personality! no way, jose! *crossing fingers*
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Friday, November 05, 2004
1. Pinakagusto mong tawag sayo?
* baby
2. Latest addiction?
* watching spin city reruns
3. Meron ka bang crush ngayon? Kung meron, sino?
* meron. kaso lang di ko alam ang kanyang pangalan.
4. Food na gusto mo kainin ngayon?
* pasta with pesto
5. Nakakatawang HS memory?
* nagpartner sa "baybay" sina adam at michael dahil itinakwil namin sila sa grupo nung ayaw nilang magpraktis ilang oras bago kami magpresent nung sayaw sa T.H.E. class nung third year. nakakatawa silang tingnan noon, parehong ayaw maging "babae" sa sayaw. =)
6. Kalokohang ginawa nung college?
* nagtangka kaming mag-overnight ni dodo sa CE lab na walang permit one friday night para makapagdownload pa ng mga kung anong graphics na pwedeng magamit sa isang project sa aming graphic design elective class. bandang 1030 ng gabi, nahuli kami ni dr. tagle! pinauwi kami sympre. nakakahiya pa dahil magkasama kaming tatlo naglakad galing faura hall hanggang gate 2.
7. Last Song Syndrome (LSS) mo ngayon?
* liwanag sa dilim - rivermaya
8. Unforgettable teacher / prof?
* padre roque ferriols, s.j. -- "Lundagin mo, beybe!" guro sa pilosopiya;
9. Fave street food?
* fishball
10. Fave childhood game?
* patintero, sipa (takyan sa bisaya), syato
11. Natatandaan mo pa panaginip mo kagabi?
* hindi na
12. Natatandaan mo pa pangalan ng pinakauna nyong family pet?
* snowball
13. Kung magiging cast ka ng isang show/teleserye/anime, ano yun?
* amazing race. oks na rin xtra challenge.
14. Pagkagising mo, sino ang gusto mong makita?
* hmmm...
15. Ang babae attractive kapag...
* walang makeup pero 'a sight for sore eyes' pa rin
16. Ang lalake attractive kapag...
* hindi insecure at may confidence sa sarili; nakasimpleng tshirt at maong pants lang pero may dating pa rin
17. Favorite line (from a song, movie, poem, etc?)
* seryosong sagot --
"The woods are lovely, dark and deep,
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep."
-- Stopping By Woods On A Snowy Evening, Robert Frost
* di seryosong sagot --
"When you kill people, they die!"
-- Milo, Ryan Philippe's character in Antitrust
18. Anong masasabi mo sa huling movie na napanood mo?
* nice (house of flying daggers)
19. May gusto ka bang sabihin?
* pwedeng pakibawasan ang mga pag-aalinlangan ko ngayon?
20. Kung may isang bagay kang sasabihin sa sarili mo, ano yun?
* magtipid ka na dahil malapit na naman ang pasko. =)
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Thursday, October 28, 2004
"a fire that always burns, the eternity of unrequited love"
i was going through some of my stuff last night and i came across old mementos once again -- letters, theatre stubs, uaap tickets, post-it notes, tokens, etc. -- each piece triggering a trip down memory lane. and while i was wallowing in the poignancy of those rememberings, this song was at the back of my head.
n.b. quote comes from the album sleeve of indigo girls' retrospective album
-----------------------------------------------------
ghost
indigo girls
there's a letter on the desktop that i dug out of a drawer
the last truce we ever came to from our adolescent war
and i start to feel a fever from the warm air through the screen
you come regular like seasons shadowing my dreams
and the mississippi's mighty but it starts in Minnesota
at a place where you could walk across with five steps down
and i guess that's how you started like a pinprick to my heart
but at this point you rush right through me and i start to drown
and there's not enough room in this world for my pain
signals cross and love gets lost and time passed makes it plain
of all my demon spirits i need you the most
i'm in love with your ghost
i'm in love with your ghost
dark and dangerous like a secret that gets whispered in a hush (don't tell a soul)
when i wake the things i dreamt about you last night make me blush (don't tell a soul)
when you kiss me like a lover then you sting me like a viper
i go follow to the river play your memory like the piper
and i feel it like a sickness how this love is killing me
but i'd walk into the fingers of your fire willingly
and dance the edge of sanity i've never been this close
in love with your ghost
ooooh…
unknowing captor you'll never know how much you
pierce my spirit but i can't touch you
can you hear it a cry to be free
or i'm forever under lock and key
as you pass through me
now i see your face before me i would launch a thousand ships
to bring your heart back to my island as the sand beneath me slips
as i burn up in your presence and i know now how it feels
to be weakened like Achilles with you always at my heels
and my bitter pill to swallow is the silence that i keep
that poisons me i can't swim free the river is too deep
though i'm baptized by your touch i am no worse at most
in love with your ghost
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Tuesday, October 26, 2004
ang pamangkin kong si gabriel
Kay Gabriel
Sa marahan na pagdilat
ng iyong mga matang
bulag pa kung tutuusin,
nasulyapan ko nang bahagya
ang mahiwagang pagpapahalaga
ng Maykapal sa Kanyang mga linalalang.
Tumitig ako sa karupukan
ng iyong maliit na katawan
at minsan pang namulat
sa sariling pagkalantad
sa mga panganib na taglay
ng mga kabalintunaan ng buhay
na biyayang Kanyang ipinagkaloob.
Nalunod akong muli
sa presensya ng sagradong kalalimang
sumusukob at kumakalinga,
haplos na yumayakap sa kalooban.
Humikab ka nang bahagya
at saglit, wari'y ibinulong sa akin
ang nakamamanghang katotohanan:
Ang presensyang tumatalab at pumapaligid
ay siya ring bukal ng hiwaga
kung paano nakabalot sa iyong mumunting kamay
ang puso kong umaapaw sa pagmamahal,
sadyang hindi sapat na sisidlan
sa dulot mong kaligayahan.
24.oktubre.2004
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Wednesday, October 20, 2004
Moving in baby steps towards the edge,
I am ambiguously drawn
by the fascinating pull
of the yet unknown --
the closest one will ever get
to really understand
Newton's law of gravity,
I am told.
My toes touch the virtual abyss on the other side
and I feel my legs heavier and heavier,
blood boiling in my whole body,
strange curling sensation in the pit of my belly.
I am momentarily paralysed
by a primitive instinct to survive.
Throwing caution to the wind,
I hurl myself to
hollow ringing ears
pumping heart rate leaping to the throat
tightening stomach muscles
freedom coursing through legs bound together
adrenaline rush like no other.
Time stands still despite the action.
Embracing life
in this altered state of consciousness
and bizarre state of detachment,
never have I seen so much
even as terror wipes my mind
clean of thought.
15.october.2004
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Locked into each other's eyes,
oblivious to everything else,
we cautiously retrace our steps
as we dance the length of memory
and seek the harmony that had once
been disregarded and lost.
My hands on your chest
yours around my waist
we feel the passion
of the music
we lovingly create.
It is a struggle to remember
how we managed to refrain
our ears from this beautiful symphony.
Your eyes and your touch
hold promises
born anew
striking the oh-so-achingly familiar
chords of my soul
I have long carefully hidden
since we last danced.
The song from the jukebox
has already ended
but we continue to
move our feet as
our bodies follow
the slow and steady rhythm
of our hearts'
almost-forgotten
melodies.
october 1998
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Tuesday, October 19, 2004
The sun lights up a drop of dew
The drop of dew soon dries
You are the light of my eyes, my eyes
I'm brought to life by you.
--- Nacha, Like Water For Chocolate
by Laura Esquivel
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Brief Interlude
you are like
the banca that
sliced
through my calm
Waters
for a time
you left
a trail which seemingly
marked me
forever
with Time
I can bring myself to
heal and
close the wound
inflicted by your hull
then
my Waters can
return
to its
calmness
but will
never be
the same
again.
16.apr.1998
camiguin island
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in the summer of '98, tatit and i were accompanying our blockmate mike as he toured the island of camiguin. we were on our way to its sandbar -- the white island -- when i couldn't help but notice the beauty of the banca cutting through the serene aquamarine waters. as enthralling as it was, i had also felt a sense of foreboding. i was in love. i was so high at that time and i remember fearing that it could not be sustained, no matter how hard i try; that this certain kind of happiness would escape from me like water seeping through my fingers.
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Monday, October 18, 2004
"It is pointless to chase after someone who is determined to get away."
I don't remember where I got this quote but I read it from somewhere a long time ago. I'm a very patient person. I can be stubborn and very persistent. But then, you come to a point where you have to decide if you have to continue your pursuit or to stop and just wait with hope instead. From time to time, life places us in these situations. I am not a quitter so it is quite difficult for me to just stop or give up... well, not exactly give up, but to just hope and not do anything anymore. So whenever I do choose to discontinue chasing after someone or something, somehow this quote gives strength to that painful decision.
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sinag-araw
alon-dagat
bituin
bato
walang kasama
o kaibigan
walang yungib na
matutuluyan
hamon sa akin
ng mahabang gabi
gabi-gabi
(adapted)
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isa sa mga unang tula ko sa filipino. habang binubuo ko ang 'Aging Wanderlust' noon, may nagbahagi sa akin ng imahen na nanatili raw sa kanya matapos basahin ang isang tula (o kuwento?) tungkol sa isang wanderer. hindi ko magamit sa aking tula noon ngunit napakatingkad ng kanyang paglarawan sa persona kaya't naisipan kong ipinta ito. natapos kong gawin iyon pero hindi pa rin ako nakontento kaya't nabuo rin ang mga taludturan sa itaas, hango sa isang imaheng hindi maalis-alis sa isipan.
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