in my obsession to be not prosaic but not cryptic or trivial either, i've been holding off posting entries in my blog for almost a year! boy, time does really fly and before i know it, i find myself with nearly a dozen drafts i don't want to post anymore due to various reasons: 1) loss of pertinent value, 2) what would have been witty and charming then have now become embarrassing in retrospect, 3) lackluster, and 4) many other reasons i don't care to mention lest some people in mind would get to read them and add two and two to get five (come to think of it, i'm more afraid that they do get four.) whenever i plan to post memoir-like fragments, there's always this debilitating process of sublimation that i go through just to come up with something that isn't too revealing for comfort but at the same time subtle enough to be less understood by those who don't really know me well yet clear as glass to those who do. ihat's why it was always easier to just let a poem or song do the talking for me instead -- something a few of my closest friends have complained to me about. one went so far as to tell me that i've been suffering from severe emotional constipation and my posting just a poem or song for most of the past year only intensified my affliction instead of alleviating it. ah, such irony. salamat ha! look what your comment got me -- a very dry spell in my blog. for more than ten months! 

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so let me start with something mundane. i've been tagged by the stupendous totoobee to

"List any seven songs you are into right now. No matter what the genre, whether they have words, or even if they're not any good, but they must be songs you're really enjoying now. Post these instructions in your blog along with your seven songs. Then tag seven other people to see what they're listening to."

seven songs 

 1 At The Stars - Better Than Ezra
 2 #41 - Dave Matthews Band
 3 One Thing - Finger Eleven
 4 You And Me - Lifehouse
 5 Until You Come Back To Me - Aretha Franklin
 6 Collide - Howie Day
 7 Chasing Cars - Snow Patrol

hmm... looks like i'm in a wallowing mood these days...
now tagging tatit, jehan, macoy, makoy, kath, rhodge and xam...

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as of late, snow patrol's chasing cars is the most persistent of all my LSS songs this year. last year, it was a toss-up between nikki hassman's any lucky penny and joni mitchell's a case of you. the year before that, it was closer to you by the wallflowers. but this year's is quite special.

"if i lay here... if i just lay here... would you lie with me and just forget the world?..."

by its own accord, the lackadaisical tune just pops into my head at some very appropriate moments. nag-d-DJ na lang bigla ang utak ko. instant background music!

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incidentally, the song was played in grey anatomy's season 2 finale wherein the last scene showed meredith torn on who to follow -- derek or finn. this is one of my most favorite scenes in the series because it symbolizes that perennial difficulty of choosing between what our heart dictates and what our head recommends. and i'm not just talking about choosing the significant other but also about choices involving our career, health and lifestyle, friendships to keep and friendships to let go, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera.

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a very good friend of mine (which i won't name muna para di maudlot!) admonished me a few weeks ago not to buy myself an iPod because he's giving me one instead. he's working in singapore now and apparently bought one for me already since he'll just have it sent as soon as anyone will come home to the phil. i'm so looking forward to my gift! being the music lover that i am, this is of course one of the best and most thoughtful gifts i'll ever receive. now, kung Taylor guitar yan tulad kay noel... hahaha! wishful thinking!

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last wednesday, straight from my up dharma down gig at 70s bistro with mikol and kc, my sister and i went to conspiracy to catch up the noel gig with tetet, franz and jimmy. lagare! but i couldn't not go since it was the eve of jimmy's birthday and i wanted to make sure also he got his complimentary cd from noel. (jimmy took most of the photos used in noel's last album)

so jimmy, with his ever super-hitech and super-heavy DSLR camera, took photos again that night. he made cd copies for each of us: franz, tetet, noel, me. they're with franz now at manila observatory. tetet and i have been agog for days as we haven't had an updated picture with noel for months. i sure hope we got good shots.

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speaking of good shots, check out my kabaklaan during bong and tina's wedding last may. i lost some weight around that time (which i'm unfortunately gaining back nowadays!) so some of those who saw me last in 2005 may be greatly surprised.

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some sort of trivia/intriga/da-who/da-what: some very close friends would know exactly how my thoughts ran and can actually follow the trail of this entry. hehehe

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check out my celebrity look-alikes!

 

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i just learned today that reese witherspoon and ryan phillippe called it quits after about seven years of marriage. another addition to that infamous hollywood statistic. oh, well... what else is new?!

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some of my friends have coined me as a "man-hater" because from time to time, i voice out my putrid views about men usually in terms of their unfaithfulness, fear of commitment, insecurities about their manliness, excessive supply of brain-numbing hormones and lack of balls (metaphorically, of course). but mostly about their seemingly inevitable path to infidelity. you see, i always declare that a guy involved in any relationship, even marriage, cannot stay a hundred percent faithful to his significant other. there is always at least one point that he would want out because of a third party.

if you're a guy, i'm sure you would instinctively balk at my declaration. my guy friends did, of course. but mind you, a few of them actually concurred after giving it some thought. and yes, girls aren't saints themselves when it comes to relationships. but when you compare the two on who is likely to be unfaithful, guys would undoubtedly win it hands-down.

i think it's physiological. the male species has two sets of brain. it's just too bad their most active brain is on the lower part of their anatomy. hehehe

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in one of my typical "man-hater" rants, mon said something that made my heart stop for a moment.

"kai, siguro ang mapapangasawa mo, babaero."

it sounded like a curse. anak ng pating! wag naman sana, Lord.

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to borrow from one of my favorite movies, Hitch, i'm just actually a realist masquerading as a cynic who is secretly an optimist